Haruka's Fanfiction

Note: The setting and character groupings mentioned in the fic are based on the Alternate Universe in Haruka and Michiru’s verbal RPG and are not necessarily canon. To learn more about our AU, go here:

http://harukafics.insanejournal.com/17026.html

Our characters decided to play a game in their private online community, and here are the results. Characters played are from Sailormoon, Prince of Tennis, Fruits Basket, Hunter x Hunter, Loveless, Sukisyo, Koko wa Greenwood, Rurouni Kenshin, Yuu Yuu Hakushou, Fushigi Yuugi, Chouja Reideen, Kaikan Phrase, Anita Blake, Okane ga Nai, X-Men: Evolution, Mighty Ducks, Sohryuden, etc. Comments that the characters made on each other’s posts are in brackets.


Storytime – a Community Effort (by Haruka and Michiru)

Part 13

--

NAO NARRATES:

The Evil Wizard Kanou thought for a few moments, then nodded. "Very well, I shall grant you that which you ask." He snapped his fingers and a short, angry-looking demon appeared before him, red eyes boring into the Wizard's visage as if he could melt it with heat vision.

"You are free to go, troublesome one," Kanou said. "Return to the Great Demon Kurama, and tell him that if he ever steals a single jewel from me again, I'll do more than take his beloved."

"Hn. Your jewels are made of paste, anyway," replied the Demon of Fire, Hiei, just before he sped out of the cave.

Kanou sneered after him, then produced a needle. He pricked himself on the finger, then magicked a tiny vial around the drop of blood that emerged. He handed the vial to the Nephrite, the Village Idiot. "And now for your last request." He made magical motions with his hands and Nephrite felt 'something' take hold. "You may now transport yourself to the Hallowed Hollow of Intellectia whenever you want by clicking your heels together three times and saying, 'If I only had a brain.'"

"Hey!" Nephrite protested while Jason howled with delighted laughter. Even sweet Ayase, the Last Uke on Earth, couldn't help but stifle a giggle.

"Now begone from my sight," Kanou ordered them, turning his gaze to Ayase, who blinked in clueless innocence. "I have important matters to attend to."

Nephrite and Jason started back the way they'd come. The Village Idiot gave the vial of blood to the ex-Court Jester Wolf. "Here's the blood for your master, the Ruler of Darkness Jean-Claude. What's he going to do with Kanou once he can control him?"

"He's going to have Kanou use his powers to make him a Daywalker, because he's stuck in the Darkness right now, y'know," Jason confided. "After that, maybe he'll be the Ruler of Daylight, who knows?"

"Oh well!" Nephrite said cheerfully. "It doesn't matter to me, because I'm off to meet my One True Love! It's been nice working with you!" He clicked his heels together three times. "If I only had a brain!" he declared, and vanished.

When he reappeared, he found himself before a pair of enormous marble pillars, between which a towering gate blocked entrance to the Hallowed Hollow of Intellectia.

"I am Hayate, Learned Hall Monitor," came a voice behind him. "You have no business here, Idiot."


HISHOU NARRATES:

Nephrite gaped for a moment. This little brat said he didn't belong here? And calling him an idiot? He might not be the smartest, but he certainly wasn't taking this from the smug little brat in front of him!

"Listen, you," Nephrite hissed, his temper snapping. "I have gone through hell to get to this place, and a little snot-nosed brat with no manners whatsoever is not going to stop me!”

"I have," he added angrily, "been threatened, tossed hundreds of miles, almost eaten by a giant plant, flown through the air dodging bees, forced to play tennis, had to drink hell-juice, come close to turning to a hideous monster, been kept prisoner by a bloody dragon, had to buy cookies from a Brownie, had to kiss a frog, been almost put to sleep by a fairy, almost smooshed by a couple of walking rocks and been face-to-face with the Evil Wizard Kanou and met his son, Hellspawn Kevin! And that's only the things I REMEMBER!!!!" Nephrite waved his arms in the air. "I will see Shalnark of the Hallowed Hollow of Intellectia, or I'll use my last wish to curse everyone here with utter idiocy!"

The Learned Hall Monitor Hayate paled at the threat. "May I ask why you wish to see Shalnark?"

"He's my One True Love, seen in a vision from the dew that I drank at the Crystal Dream Tree. Sylph of Moondrops Shinji told me he was here."

"You must wait here. I'll need to speak with the leader, Hiroshi, the Clever Guide of Intellectia.” Hayate hurried away.

(Nephrite: Yay, I finally got to throw a well-deserved temper tantrum!)


SHIGURE NARRATES:

Nephrite the Village Idiot was getting impatient by the time someone new approached him. The long-haired young man was dressed rather sloppily, but was handsome none-the-less. He carried a lute in one hand.

"Are you Hiroshi, the Clever Guide of Intellectia?" Nephrite asked dubiously.

The stranger stopped in front of him and strummed the lute. "Yes, I aaaaaam!" he sang. "I am here to taaaake you to where Shalnark resiiiiides. Follow me, pleeeease!"

"Um, okay." Nephrite obeyed and began following the strange 'musician.' "Do you ever speak WITHOUT singing?"

The young man winked and strummed the lute again. "No, I do noooot. But sometimes I play the lute without siiiiinging."

Nephrite kind of wished he would do so now, since his lute playing seemed the lesser of two evils.

"Do I have to do anything difficult before meeting Shalnark?" he asked, figuring it couldn't be this easy.

He heard the strum of the lute. "You must wiiiin the approval of Shalnark's guarrrrdians -- The Three Wise Guys: Taroh, Nanjiroh, and Aoi."

(Aoi: Wise GUYS?! *looks down* Okay, they're still there ....)
(Shigure: The inner workings of the minds of Intellectia are an enigma.)
(Hatori: Especially when they don't belong there.)
(Nanjiroh: *poke poke* Yep, they're all there! Both Ds of em! =D~)
(Aoi: Nanjiroh! *laughs*)
(Takahisa: I REALLY didn't have to read this. This is an all ages thread, people.)
(Aoi: Sorry, sorry, my sensitive son. Good thing he wasn't around to see Nanjiroh do it in person.)
(Kouhei: KAASAN!!!!!!!!!!!)
(Youhei: I second that -- KAASAN!!!!!!!!)
(Ryoma: Now both parents are embarrassing me in public.)
(Aoi: All right, I'm sorry, I'll never mention the twins again (um, not Youhei and Kouhei. My other twins. ^_^)
(Ryoma: *dies*)
(Takahisa: I'm putting myself up for adoption now. Anyone ELSE want me? I'm taking Ryoma with me, too. And the cat.)
(Youhei: Hey, what about US? The four of us (five with the cat) go as a package deal!)


KEVIN NARRATES:

"Wise guys? You mean they're wise, or are they just smart-asses?" Nephrite said, scratching his head.

"Thaaaat toooo!" Hiroshi sang.

"Are you still trying to sing?" Angel Eyes Sakuya leaned against a Pillar of Truth.

"I muuuust sinnng," Hiroshi sang, strumming his lute angrily. "Ever siiince the Soooorcerrresssss Shiiiizuuuukuuu cuuuursed meeeee foooor caaaaalling heeer a haaaalf wiiit, I caaaanooot speeeeaaaak!"

Angel Eyes Sakuya smiled, a naughty gleam in his eye. "Ah, right. Too bad she had to curse us all with your bad singing."

"Myyyy siiinging isn't thaaaaat baaad!" Hiroshi sang. "Doooon't bee so disrespeeeeectfulll," he added, plunking a chord on the lute. "I am stiiil the heeaad of the Holloooow.”

"Coooome, ohhh idiiiodiiiic oooone. Let's seeeee the Three Wise Guys."

"Good luck," Sakuya nodded.

Nephrite sighed. He was feeling a bit nostalgic for village life. But the story must continue, he knew, so he followed Hiroshi.


TOUMA NARRATES:

They turned a corner and saw a beautiful blonde man seated at a writing desk, a quill pen in hand. He peered at them over his glasses, assessing Nephrite with a glance.

"Hiroshi," he said sternly, "you should know better than to bring someone into these halls whose IQ is lower than his shoe size."

"Hey!" Nephrite the Village Idiot protested. "I'm not THAT stupid!"

"You don't look that smart, either," the blonde remarked icily.

Hiroshi strummed his lute and leaned toward Nephrite, singing, "Thiiiis is Eeeeiriiiii, Keeeeeper of the Books of Intelllllectiaaa!"

"So you handle the money?" Nephrite asked, having heard the term 'bookkeeper' before.

Eiri snorted disdainfully. "NO, he just told you -- I KEEP the BOOKS!" He pointed under his desk where a stack of hardcover and softcover books were hidden. "Knowledge is power, and with power comes responsibility."

Nephrite paused, waiting for him to continue, but he had already turned back to what he was writing. Nephrite glanced at Hiroshi, who shrugged.

"Some of the smaaartest peeeeooople here are a little ecceeeeentric!" he sang in a whisper and pulled Nephrite past the desk so that they wouldn't disturb the strange man further.

--

End of Part 13

(2005)

None of these characters belong to us.

This fic is not to be re-posted.