Haruka's Fanfiction

Note: The setting and character groupings mentioned in the fic are based on the Alternate Universe in Haruka and Michiru’s verbal RPG and are not necessarily canon. To learn more about our AU, go here:

http://harukafics.insanejournal.com/17026.html

Our characters decided to play a game in their private online community, and here are the results. Characters played are from Sailormoon, Prince of Tennis, Fruits Basket, Hunter x Hunter, Loveless, Sukisyo, Koko wa Greenwood, Rurouni Kenshin, Yuu Yuu Hakushou, Fushigi Yuugi, Chouja Reideen, Kaikan Phrase, Anita Blake, Okane ga Nai, X-Men: Evolution, Mighty Ducks, Sohryuden, etc. Comments that the characters made on each other’s posts are in brackets.


Storytime – a Community Effort (by Haruka and Michiru)

Part 12

--

AYASE NARRATES:

"The question is," Nightcrawler said, "do you find my appearance repulsive?"

Nephrite gulped. The Keeper of Soul's appearance had frightened him at first, but he wasn't ugly. He was just different.

"Not repulsive," he said slowly. "I've never seen anyone like you. The hands and feet are kind of unsettling, but I sort of like the tail and the blue colour. I could get used to it." He stopped himself suddenly, realizing that if he answered incorrectly, then he wouldn't have any choice BUT to get used to seeing Nightcrawler every day for the rest of his life.

"Fear not," the creature told him. "For there is no right or wrong answer to this question -- it is a test of honesty only, and you spoke the truth as you see it. You are free to proceed."

"Thank you." Nephrite gave a bow, grateful that he didn't have to stay in that dark cave forever. He felt kind of sorry that Nightcrawler did. "D-Do you want to come with us?" he ventured.

The Keeper of Souls' fanged grin shone in his indigo face. "Thank you for asking, kind traveler. But it is my place to guard this path against those who are unworthy."

And so Nephrite and Jason continued their trek up the path. They didn't speak much for a little while, both lost in their own thoughts.

"I think we're nearing the top," Jason said, sniffing the air. "I can smell Kanou's scent in the distance, so we must be getting closer." A frown appeared on his muzzle. "But there are two others we must deal with first."

Nephrite saw what he meant. Two huge, solid creatures, standing side-by-side, filled the entire pathway. They blocked what appeared to be the final entrance -- the gateway to the Evil Wizard Kanou.

"We are the Boss' personal guard," one of the creatures said. "I am Rockguard Homare."

"And I am Stoneguard, Misao," said the other. "To get to Boss Kanou, you must go through us. IF you can."

(Homare: Now I have the song 'like a rock' in my head...)
(Misao: You have rocks in your head? XD)
(Ayase: I can't believe I actually typed 'Evil Wizard Kanou.' *sweat* I didn't WANT to. Wahhhh....)
(Kanou: I can't either...)
(Ayase: I was afraid that if I changed it to Kind and Misunderstood Wizard Kanou that everyone else would yell at me. ;_;)
(Yayoi: We'd NEVER yell at you, Ayase-san. We'd probably laugh a lot, though ....)
(Rogue: Actually, I'll agree with Ayase on this one....)


HOMARE NARRATES:

"Like a rock, I was strong as I could be, Like a rock, nothin' ever got to me--" Jason started singing under his breath.

"We've heard that one before," Rockguard Homare rumbled.

"And like it less and less each time we hear it," Stoneguard Misao added.

"Right," Jason sighed. No sense of humour."

"Um, how do I get past you?" Nephrite asked, feeling small and insignificant.

"There is no way," Misao stated grandly. "We are invulnerable and invincible."

"Nothing can hurt us in any way. We were created to be perfect," Homare stated impressively.

"I don't want to HURT your boss," Nephrite tried to keep the tremble out of his voice. "I just want to free the Demon of Fire Hiei and then travel past to the other side of the mountain so I can find the Hallowed Hollow of Intellectia."

"Why would an obvious idiot such as yourself look for such a place?" Misao chuckled.

Nephrite gave the stonewalls a flat-eyed-LOOK. "You know, I've learned a lot from this trip. Can I be upgraded from Idiot to Foolish?"

"Not on my shift." Homare shook his head. "Ask the next author."

"What is it that I need to get you in order to pass by?" Nephrite sighed. "I'm sure there's something, otherwise the story'll end here."

Misao chuckled gravelly. "Why, yes, there is. The Last Uke on Earth, Ayase."


MOMIJI NARRATES:

Nephrite's face fell. "Aw, come on!"

Rockguard Misao shrugged his massive shoulders. "Even if you get past us, Boss Kanou will kill you if he sees you. And an Idiot like you will never be able to avoid being seen. The only thing he really wants is the Ayase, the Last Uke on Earth. If you get Ayase for him, he might even be willing to grant you a favour."

"But I left Ayase back at the beginning of the story!" Nephrite whined. "Can't I offer something else instead?" He dug around in one pocket. "How about this? This is ... uh, Hiro the Wooly Lintball!"

The Rockguard twins gazed down at the lifeless Lintball, then glanced at each other before turning back to Nephrite. "You've got to be kidding, because if you aren't, then you're insulting our intelligence," Misao said.

"He's not smart enough to know how," Jason confessed.

Nephrite dropped the Lintball and stamped his foot (squishing it by accident.) "Ohhh, I wish just ONCE something could be easy for me on this journey!"

"Speaking of wishing," Jason remarked significantly and nosed at Nephrite's pocket. A candle flickered over the Village Idiot's head (since he was too stupid for a light bulb.)

"The banana seeds that the Shy and Sad Monkey Ritsu gave me!" Nephrite declared happily. He popped one into his mouth and ate it, then closed his eyes. "I wish I wish I wish that Ayase, the Last Uke on Earth, was here right now!"

There was an audible *POP* and the waif-like beauty appeared before them.

(Hiro: I'm a LINTBALL?! Rabbit, you're going to PAY for this!)
(Youji: Awwwww..... I was gonna make him a cloud!)
(Gon: Or a cotton ball! :D)
(Youji: I was going to make him a cloud! A fleecy sheep cloud searching for cloud grass!)
(Hiro: I am both honoured and appalled at this argument over my fate. -_-;)


KANOU NARRATES:

"Ohhhh! How did I get here!" The last Uke on Earth cried, putting hands to his sweet mouth.

"Glaaaaahhhhh...." Homare, Misao and Jason drooled. Nephrite, used to the effect Ayase had on men, just shivered a moment.

"Here you are," Nephrite stated, recovering. "Now that I have what he wants, I'd like to see your boss."

"Uh, yes, right away!" Misao nodded, and escorted the Idiot, the Wolf and the Uke through a door in the side of the mountain.

The group rode an elevator to the spire of the mountain. When they got out, they were in a great chamber of black marble with veins of silver and gold running through it. Tall black columns that glimmered slightly rose into the gloom that may have held a ceiling.

At the end of the room, on a raised dias, was a great dark throne that seemed as a chip of the night, with stars shining in the distance. An imposing man of handsome visage sprawled elegantly on the throne.

"May I help you?" A pretty boy bowed and smiled.

"Uh, we're here to see the Evil Wizard Kanou?" Nephrite hesitantly said.

"I am the Evil Wizard's Beautiful Apprentice Nisei. Nice to meet you. Do you have an appointment?" He smiled.

"Uh, no, but I have this.” Nephrits pulled Ayase up.

"Oh, my!" Ayase exclaimed prettily.

"Yes, this will get you an appointment. Please wait here a moment!"


MIZUKI NARRATES:

"Never mind, Nisei. I am here."

The Evil Wizard Kanou loomed over them all, but his eyes were only for Ayase, the Last Uke on Earth.

"At last, I have found you," he said, fingering the delicate tresses.

"Well, technically, _I_ found him," Nephrite the Village Idiot commented.

Kanou turned slowly to look at him. You are the one who brought Ayase to me?"

Nephrite gulped. The Evil Wizard Kanou was extremely imposing and intimidating up close! He nodded wordlessly.

"A-Are you my Heart's Desire?" Ayase asked Kanou, wide-eyed. "The one whom The Air Spirit Haruka predicted I would find?"

"That I am.” Kanou smiled. The smile made both Nephrite and Jason shudder.

"Oh, how wonderful!" The Last Uke on Earth clapped his hands together in joy. "Now may we recover Kio the Pegasus?"

"For you, little one, anything," Kanou said, drawing Ayase to his side. He eyed the others suspiciously. "Stop looking at him," he warned. They quickly shifted their gaze.

"DADDY!" snapped a demanding little voice as an adorable blonde, blue-eyed youngster stomped into view. "Magic me a new MP3 player! Mine sucks!"

"Oh, isn't he cute!" Ayase exclaimed.

"This is my son, Hellspawn Kevin," Kanou said proudly. "He hasn't developed any magic talent yet, but he makes up for it by being obnoxious."

(Kevin: Hellspawn... Kevin....? I suppose I can TRY. At least you made me adorable. That grants you a 50% reprieve in hostilities. Gag me. You have me TALKING like YOU!)


HAYATE NARRATES:

"Um, I hate to interrupt, but I'd like to talk about terms of delivery?" Nephrite put his hand up. "I delivered the Uke, I'd like just 3 things in return. For someone of your great stature, they'll be nothing."

"I'm listening.” Wizard looked at Nephrite, suspicious.

"First, I'd like you to release the Demon of Fire Hiei. I also want one drop of your blood, and finally, free passage to the Hallowed Hollow of Intellectia," Nephrite said, somewhat nervously.

"That's an interesting list.” Kanou looked perplexed. “I can certainly release the Fire Demon. He's annoying, anyway. And you can surely go to the Hollow. Though I think they won't accept you. But why should I give you a drop of my blood?" he asked menacingly.

"Oh, uh," Nehrite thought fast. A wisp of steam escaped from his overworking brain. "My brother, The Village Genius Jadeite, told me I should get a drop. He said if I carried it on my person, the forest animals would mistake me for you, and they'd leave me alone." He didn't remember if Jadite had ever said it, but it was the most genius thing that he'd ever thought by himself! He just hoped the Evil Wizard Kanou would buy it!

(Jadeite: Bwahahahaha! I'm the genius and HE'S the idiot!)
(Nephrite: You have to die now, you realize that.)

--

End of Part 12

(2005)

None of these characters belong to us.

This fic is not to be re-posted.